Calvin Rules

Maximum City!

2008-03-10T14:53:00.000-07:00

Bombay: Lost and Found

The time I first visited Mumbai, the city fascinated me. Everything seemed so beyond my comprehension. I tried expressing whatever I'd felt in an amateurish manner, whatever I felt, unknowingly then about the world's most complex city. The article was fun, almost a humorous attempt to tell a touch-and-go story of a dream-city. But a senior (I forgot his name!) took strong exception to it, and termed my mesmerization with the city as "musings of a lecherous voyeur" and pelted a serious advice, “Bombay is lot more than just that”. Although, it kinda hurt, I knew that the guy was passionate about Bombay, and frivolous attempts to talk about the city would only draw flak. So I let the thought sink in and then said calmly to myself that "I must know this city!, in whatsoever manner".

And the journey has indeed been long. And I still cannot figure out how far I've reached in my self-committed attempt to decipher the city of dreams. But it sure has been an exciting, perplexing, sensational and at times even invigorating journey.

I've read many Bombay books (that have a varying degree of this mammoth city assimilated into them). But this book, stands out of the league. It's an insider's view and is undoubtedly the best nonfictional account of the megacity. It's refreshingly new and tells very recent (and true) stories. It has all the elements that define the city's diversified identity, and Suketu reveals them in such passionate way that "his" Bombay rises from the safe restraints of his own individual mind to capture the imagination of the reader. Every story is shockingly honest. You can feel what the author felt. You live with him in Mumbai and Mumbai starts revealing itself to you; layer by layer.

There's no "planned" way to understand the whimsical and unplanned Mumbai. But an interesting way to get into the skin of it is to read some curiously told stories. What makes us curious about Mumbai? Movie stars, gangsters, painted women, cops and a huge sea of people who are all free to tell their own fascinating versions of the story. Why is there an inherent fascination for the morally compromised? Suketu chose these people as the heroes of his story. They according to him are "characters of freedom"! They live on the edge, on the extremity, of moral confusions. And in this extreme city, they are the liberated ones.

Entire book is well knitted with the help of stories (that are all true!), all combining to create a wholesome silhouette of the maximum city. Suketu uses such a convincing tone that one can almost experience the things first hand, can talk to the gangsters, know Balasahebthakeray (the mystery man), experience the life behind beerbars, walk through the lanes of Mira road and can even sniff the humid addiction of this extreme city. The book deals with blatant truths, and that too without and apologetic worldview! Underworld, communal riots, mean politics and even Rent Act which is sole reason for the existence of pathetic and shabby structures right in the heart of Mumbai.

Suketu has an acute sense of being an Indian, perhaps we all have but do not realize it unless we are in a strange world; he finds us "individually multiple, severally alone". To understand the significance of this, better read the book. You’ll like it.

If you don't like it, come beat me up! ;)

Année finale

2007-07-29T15:15:00.000-07:00

So I move into the final year of engineering. It feels slightly weird and unconvincing as I still do not see myself even an iota of an engineer. Not that I haven't learned anything, but because of the strange feeling of being unable to picture myself as someone working in formal pants in a pretentious office. Three years have passed much sooner than I'd imagined. Last month has been busy with placements and now having a job has completely transformed my worldview. I'd have to reset my priorities, redefine goals and lot more. It means a complete overhaul of me as an individual trying to make something significant out of my career.

Placements actually brought in a lot of learnings. (not "earnings" as the meagre salaries these IT companies offer hardly impress our parents :( , unless it's Microsoft which has deemed it suitable to select only one student from our institute) They have boosted my confidence, (although a slight shock was there but it only helped me in the end!) and have instilled in me the gut feeling of believing in my own self. Interviews & GD's do not scare me as much as they used to do earlier. :)

The year ahead is going to be a great learning experience as a lot of things would happen!!!
Come what may, and I'm ready to embrace it!

Rough Days

2007-03-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

There are days when I don't know what I must do. Those aren't as bad inspite of the confusion. The real rough ones are those when I do know what I've got to do, but I still don't do it. Past few days have been more or less like those rough ones. The inspiration has been there consistently and I clearly have the goals in my mind, but still I just can't get along well.

Where do I wan't to be?

2007-02-20T13:02:00.000-08:00

The question regarding my future wasn't this complicated before. But from some time it has grown up into a scary monster that keeps troubling me every now and then. I'm still not entirely convinced with the answers I have to this question for myself. But then I may not have introspected myself deep enough looking for the "real" answers.
The trouble is that I'm still not focussed towards a single goal. I'm still clueless as to what is best for me. Placements aren't much far and there are hardl y 8 months to CAT, so I'm in heavy pressure to make up my mind soon and head into a single direction. I really need to compensate for the average acad performance till now, beacause I'll find it hard to explain the acad in Interviews if it goes all the way like this.
Now the time is good to go by the book if I decide to go for CAT and start preparing on a regular basis. English preparation has be planned and spread over a considerable period of time.
All this calls for a drastic change during the oncoming months. I must resolve to bring in that change asap....
After all "Where would I be in a year or two ahead?" entirely depends on this....

Paradoxical learning!!!!

2007-02-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

I'm heavily confused right now. The confusion that I'm in right now is not just regarding the state of being indecisive. It's something more. The usual parameters that I use to reach to conclusions are generating a conflict, and that too a paradoxical one! Though I've already made the decision, I'm still not very sure as to what have I taken into account and why have I done so.
The most usual factor that shapes one's thinking is the public consensus that's prevalent regarding the topic. (though most of it is statistically uncertain and driven by the desire to point out flaws, but more or less it's always a major factor). Another factor is your own contemplation of aftereffects as per your experiences and with the aid of extrapolation. This one varies largely from person to person and once shaped by intuition, it largely drives the course of action. Third factor is the social and peer involvement, which implants the need to be consistent with one's past record and hence adds a deterrence to try out things that don't go along consistently with one's image. There can be some other factors as well.

The paradox arises when the conclusion reached by reasoning conflicts with the one which has been arrived upon by collective opinion and accumulated wisdom that one has. Which one has to be chosen now? The intuitive feeling added to the chaos. I wasn't sure as to reasoning was absolutely flawless or not, neither was I confident regarding the public consensus.

I did made a decision though, my conscience helped me out of the paradoxical situation. I chose the option in which I could answer myself in the best possible manner. I cannot boast that it's always right thing to do, but there didn't seemed to be a better alternative that could sort out the confusion.

"River of Fire" - Qurratulain Hyder.

2007-01-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

Urdu literature has always fascinated me. But the pity is I cannot read Urdu, so I have to read the translated Hindi and English versions of the available books. Translations done by someone else than the author himself aren't that effective always. So there is always a chance of being disappointed in spite of the great original work.

The case with Qurratulain Hyder was different. She has herself translated all of her classic Urdu novels. Qurratulain Hyder is one of the most celebrated of Urdu fiction writers. She wrote at a time Urdu fiction was still trying to grab roots in a poetry-dominated world of Urdu literature. She is widely regarded as the "Grande Dame" of Urdu literature. Born in Aligarh, Uttar Pradesh in 1920 the author did her graduation from Lucknow University and moved to Pakistan during partition of 1947. Onwards she lived in England up to 1951 and then returned back to India which has been home for her since then. This transition period with the background of Partition has been a regular canvas in her writings. Qurratulain Hyder's 1959 novel "River of Fire" reflects this as well. But there is more to the book than just the transition period.

The book explores through the Indian culture across ages. In her characters she has explored the past up to present. The novel starts from Vedic age and literally explores thousands of years. The characters though have recurring themes across the ages. Gautam Nilambar's "ego" lives across the ages and repeatedly appears at different times along with other characters. This seamless and interesting transformation sweeping entire Indian history has made the book one of the most celebrated novels.

Aag Ka Darya (Book’s original Urdu name) is a landmark novel that explores the vast sweep of time and history. It tells a story that moves from the fourth century BC to the post-Independence period in India and Pakistan, pausing at the many crucial epochs of history. The Times Literary Supplement wrote that, "River of Fire is to Urdu fiction what A Hundred Years of Solitude is to Hispanic (Spanish) literature".

The book has a very descriptive and detailed account of North Indian history parallel to its characters. Descriptions of some worn out (culturally i.e.) cities like Jaunpur, Lucknow etc certainly make a person curious who has his roots in this part of North India. After reading the novel one realizes that the now worn places have once been at their cultural apogees and there’s much hidden inside the layers of history which isn’t visible. This realization is one of the major themes in the book.

Hyder tells a fascinating and fast-paced story, and she is generally able to sustain the narrative through the short and often separate episodes of the novel. From Gautam wandering through the forest as a student in ancient India to the troubled modern times of partition Hyder offers many vivid and powerful scenes. Many a times reader is overwhelmed with the surprisingly rich amount of historical information that Hyder reveals. But one does enjoy it. The colonial period is also well-covered, with the English intruding into the text (and country). Describing India's difficult relationship with the English, both in colonial times and after, is among Hyder's greater successes here.

It’s not that the author abhors the British; rather she brings out a more convincing cultural friction which is quite apparent in the book.

Overall River of Fire is certainly an interesting, valuable, and entertaining read which provides one an insightful peek into India’s past and the way it has shaped us. And the wit and sensibility of Hyder make it even more worth reading. Once you start reading it, there’s no putting down. Qurratulain Hyder is one of those rarest jewels that Urdu literature can claim to have.

Amazing!

2006-11-12T19:18:00.000-08:00

There are things that simply amaze you. You wonder and can't help saying, "How on earth...?". Watching K-PAX was one such wonderful experience. The movie constantly amazes you and makes you ponder, entire story is gripping and I must confess "convincing". Sci flicks DON'T convince me at all, but this one was altogether different. I was bored and on the verge of a night-out, so asked Harsh to suggest a nice movie. He suggested wacthing either "The Wind that shakes the Barley" or "K-Pax". I opted for K-Pax just casually and was really delighted by the movie.

The story is a lot more than sheer exaggeration of Science. It's cinematography at it's best. Simplicity, the elegant convincing force of the dialogues and Kevin Spacey make it a story that's gripping. Based on Gene Brewer's novel, the movie is awe-inspiring and derived out of inherent complexity of life. Story is bound to cheer anybody up, not for it's humour but due to intensity of little tricks it uses for storytelling. It's simply marvellous cinema by Iain Softly.

Looooong Gap!!!

2006-11-09T17:35:00.000-08:00

It's been really long since I posted last. As soon as I got rid of 2nd midsems, I headed home for the diwali vacations. And after returning to college, life has been kind of hectic and I'd been too lazy to log in and post. Studies are lind of stagnant now and CAT preperation is also standstill. Let's see how long it takes to return to normalcy. Soon, in less than half a month end semester exams will cast their shadow and I'll definetly have a tough time considering the trifling amount of studies I've done till now.

Just before vacation I read "River of Fire" by Qurratulain Hyder. A quite fine book with a very desriptive and detailed account of North Indian history parellel to it's characters. Descriptions of some worn out (culturally i.e.) cities like Jaunpur, Lucknow etc certainly makes a person who has his roots in that region curious. I'll write about the book in detail some other time. Right now it's getting too late and I must sleep.

Why Calvin ???

2006-09-18T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have been asked this question quite a lot of times, every other person thinking i'm probably the farthest thing to mischievous calvin. (i'm kinda more like hobbes rather than calvin) Well, the first thing is nomenclature doesn't has to compulsarily correspond to traits. But I have other convincing reasons as well.

To me "Calvin and Hobbes" is not just a comic strip. It's lot more.
Bill Watterson has created a masterpiece that can't be desribed as anything lesser than magic. Yes! Calvin is magic and Watterson the alchemist who spuns the yarn of ponderings of a kid. Everything that Calvin does and thinks of along with hobbes is a very genuine and always has a delighting air about it. "Calvin is delightfully and dedicatedly rotten", as said by Pat Oliphant in the forward of a collection titled "Something under the bed is drooling". He surely is! but his honesty to himself is amazing. He's creative (of course as a character), he's full of ideas and has a constant conviction that he's the best! He's always in search of adventures, both in reality and in his fantasies.
He's all that one (at least me) yearns to be! Though rationality strucks hard and i'm restricted to social hedges.

But that surely won't stop me from celebrating this masterpiece....!
What do you say???

Arcelor Mittal Deal! An interesting analysis!

2006-08-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

The long drama which had continued for the last five months came to halt after Mittal Steel was successfully able to take over Arcelor and thereby creating the biggest merger of all time in Steel Industry. The creation of a 100 Mmt (million metric tons) company was indeed a gigantic step. Mind you this figure is three times the toal production of steel by India and even greater than the steel productions of USA as well as Russia.It's also three times more than what their nearest competetor will be producing. Considering the mega scale of this merger, this deal has crucial implications in the global steel market and in general corporate world as well.

The acquisition process was not only long but a drama which was intensified futher by the tussel between European nationalist interests over free market philosophy and intervention by Russian oligarchs. Mittal's raised bid of 26.8 billion euro (US$33.6 billion) was accepted by Arcelor. This was a U-turn from their previous refusal to yield to 23.3 billion euro offer by Arcelor's chief executive Guy Dollé. Arcelor's chairman Joespeh Kinsch announced the new merger and the new name "Arcelor-Mittal" for the Goliath resulting from the merger. The newly formed board will have six members from each entity and will be jointly headed by Kinsch and Mittal.

The bitter battle before the merger wasn't only due to competetive bids and buisness rivalry but there was an additional dimension to it which added more to the entire confusion. This was economic protectionism active at many European capitals in the face of liberal market competition. In fact overcoming this economic nationalism hurdle was a major challenge for Mittal Steel. Many European countries with Arcelor operations were opposed to the deal considering the monopoly that would result in the steel market. Arcelor has itself resulted from a merger of Spain's Arceralia, France's Usinor and Luxembourg-based Arbed in 2001 and all these firms had strong political liaisons. Hence Arcelor's Dollé recieved strong political backings from politicians in his campaign against Mittal. And in May Arcelor announced plans to merge with Russia's second largest steelmaker, Severstal. The rationale of Mittal's questionable corporate governance given by Arcelor to shareholders however failed to gather the confidence of investors. Furthermore Severstal's proximity to Russian President Vladimir Putin and unlisted assets raised doubts about it's corporate transparency. By the end of June Dollé was on record for refusing merger with Mittal and Arcelor went on to accept Mittal's increased bid, thereby leading to a successful merger after a long frustrating period of confusion.

This merger proved to be crucial in more than single manner. Firstly it was nothing less than a Renaissance for a fragmented steel industry. Steel industry has been notoriously fragmented and mergers like this will spur further integration of this unconsolidated sector. Secondly it demonstrated that the economic nationalism and barricades are no longer major operating forces. Free enterprising sprit has scored over it and this will lead to easing of barricades existing in EU and governments will probably refrain from preventing overseas acquisitions. For Indians as well, this is a good reason for celebrating. Not due to the Indian origin of Mittal, but because of his expansion plans in India. The Indian Steel industry has been in poor state (espacially the govt owned ones) for long and profit margins are terribly narrow. So the Mittal's investment in India is surely a good sign. And the FDI that will accompany will also boost the economy.

Though one can be still apprehensive that whether handful of such deals can bring about a overhauling of steel industry or not, but anyway this surely is a terrific start!

Two new Blogs!

2006-08-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

From quite a long time I'd been posting photos in the same blog which made it quite messy. And recently I even started to post linux help on the same which made it even more unpleasant, so finally I decided to started two new blogs.

First one is my photoblog with the url:
http://calvinwithlense.blogspot.com

And the other is a linux blog:
http://linuxbycalvin.blogspot.com

Links are added in Links section at the right side.

Look what war has done!!!

2006-07-21T19:04:00.000-07:00

These tears tell most of the story! When this sister weeps for his brother who was killed in Israeli air strike in Central Gaza strip, there isn't much left to be argued. What has war done to them! This family is living as refugees at Maghazi refugee camp since the strike began, and even the funeral of her innocent brother is happening in midst of terror, fear and confusion with continued military attack.

Not just this family but a thousand like them are in utter confusion between Israel and Lebanon, and this isn't the first time. This Arab- Israel conflict has very deep roots indeed. Since the 1948 Israel-Arab war, dust hasn't setttled yet! Israel has launched massive air raids on Lebanon to eliminate Hezbollah militants who had been attacking Israel from Southern Lebanon. Lebanon has been ineffective in curbing them so far!(Some doubt whether the cause for which Hezbollah militants are fighting is really invalid or not!). One thing which stupefies is the ineffectiveness of the negotiations and the sudden crisis in which not many nations are willing to interfere.

Whatever may be the outcome of the friction, one thing is sure that in middle-east the situation will only get worst will further alignment to two extremist blocks. One of Arab and the other of Israel.

Creative Writing

2006-07-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

It was (if i remember correctly!) end of 2nd semester when I read the book "Lifelong Creativity" by Pradip N. Khandwalla(an IIM faculty). The book was kind of set of exercises on provocative thinking. The author had a firm belief that Creativity alone wasn't sufficient, one needed to be continuously creative over time.

Yesterday, when I was reading ET I came across an article suggesting degree courses(online, part-time and campus based) on creative writing. Most of the offering institutions were either UK or US based.(likes of De Montfort University etc). I think these courses instill more abilities and confidence along with crucial encouragement that makes it worth doing courses like these. One who is serious about writing can benefit himself a lot from these courses.

I dream further down the line, when I'm 3-4 years deep into my professional career I'll love to undergo one of these courses.(if by that time my priorities haven't undergone a drastic change!). One thing I know for sure is that I don't want to be just a technical professional or anything likewise. I've got to add some more dimensions to myself!

These lines make perfect sense to me:
"There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorise, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to reach beyond. To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me..."

Heavy Metal- A Headbanger's Journey!!!!!

2006-07-17T16:52:00.000-07:00

I just watched this documentary made by Sam Dunn who is a die-hard metal fan and also happens to be an anthropologist. So he set out on a journey to explore the history of hard metal and to defend it against accusations of provoking voilence, nudity and suicides. His journey is not only unique but also a thought provoking one.
He explores metal right from the start when "Black Sabbath" first played the devil's tritone to the modern monsters of satanist rock. And his entire journey is not just a single sided perspective(in spite of my firm belief that anthropologists are biggest fact twisters!), but it allows one to see flip side as well through which a non-die-hard fan can explore. One can learn to appreciate a die hard rocker's perspective. He can explore new horizons that redefine masculinity and also help himself dispel the inbuilt reservations regarding the satanist or devil's music.
He explores some of the most controversial bands like twisted sister and the black metal bands of Norway.(who have even gone to the extent of burning churches!). He even differentiates the halloween bands like Venom from the different genre of satanic ones and traces their genealogy and inspirations behind them.
This documentary surely is capable of turning even non-believers to die hard heavy metal fans.

Biggest quality of heavy metal is that(as one metal fan in the documentary says),"It's a music that doesn't judges me, doesn't criticizes me. It's just always there for me!".
Heavy metal empowers. So I guess that it's time for getting more empowered and here I go searching for more heavy metal records....!

Awaazon ke bazaron mein khamoshi pehchane kaun?

2006-07-16T20:00:00.000-07:00

I just re-discovered this song by Jagjit Singh. It used to be the theme song for one of those good 'ol vintage serials of Doordarshan,"Neem Ka Ped".In my school days I used to love this serial and more than that, this song which piloted it. The lethargic and nostalgic face of Pankaj Kapur still shrouds me when I hear these lyrics.
The lyrics of this song strikes a very special chord wrapping my silence into words. It's kind of ironic. But it happens all the time. Whatever we ourselves can't express into words, when gets told by someone else to a very precise degree is bound to be appreciated by us. It relates to us and kind of introduces a sense of deja-vu.

Oh! I'm getting too much nostalgic now, so I guess I won't expand more on this blog or else the closely packed box of nostalgia will loose open!

What I'm gonna do!

2006-07-07T05:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a dilemma from long, regarding what I'm to do after Btech and what should I try to add on to myself while I'm here in the college. One thing I know for sure, that I don't want to be an IT professional who just sits in front of a system and does coding and application designing. I demand more out of my life, but then I'm stuck with the options I have. And deciding which one I should choose is a question I don't have answers for convincing myself.

The first and foremost option is to prepare for CAT and decide on for a management degree from a decent B-School. I might actually go for it, but the prospects of trying for further studies at foreign universities also seem to be promising. Preparing for GRE might not be a big hurdle but my GPA which I've messed up in last two sems would certainly punch holes in my sail.
And the third option is to straight head for jobs in IT industry for which I'd need to focus more on Software projects and hone my programming skills. I'm least interested in this but this is most feasible and entirely within my reach.

Preparing for CAT translates to a surmountable amount of hardwork, communication skills and cut-throat competition. GRE preparation, though not that difficult is still not an easy task and would require increasing my GPA by enormous amount. Adding to that are VISA woes and complexities of the admission procedure.

The quandary continues but one thing I'd definetly like to get as much exposure as possible via internships, projects and if possible doing an internship in UK/US.
:)

On Movies 2

2006-06-26T23:44:00.000-07:00

The title is just to conform to the previous article I wrote on movies. That one I wrote was when I saw "The Shawshank Redemption". I loved the movie so much that I couldn't help writing about it. I particularly adore the movies that celebrate human existance and human spirit.

Today I again saw one such movie "The Green Mile". This movie in spite of having a different approach drives home the same point, it also celebrates the human spirit and our core values. The dialogues are truely outstanding and continously put you thinking.

This summer I've been watching a lot of movies. "Saw" and "SawII" were genuine thrillers. Then "Forrest Gump" was a treat to watch with Tom Hanks at his best. "Cast Away" again was refreshingly new and different movie. Some others I've simply watched and forgotten.

Let's see what's next in the Queue!

A bit Unfair

2006-06-25T22:00:00.000-07:00

I don't exactly know why I'm writing this. There doesn't seems to be a definite reason or purpose, neither is there any tendency of mine to jot down something that's worth remembering. But I still want to say this.

Life's a bit unfair. "Fairness", as we generally know it is the quality associated with unbiased and logical outlook towards all. The feeling that there will be nothing but merit and validated reason between your aspirations and what you actually achieve. But the society doesn't allows it to come out so simple. There always are tides in the ocean which are unpredictable and just come and alter things.

May be it's all a way of life, and the things I've been trying to comprehend within the periphery of standardized interpretations aren't so straight in their actual realities.
I don't really know what to make out of all this.

A Funny and Chaotic Day!(21.06.2006)

2006-06-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

Again slept through whole of the day. My biological clock simply refuses to comply with Indian time, can't help it. The sole reason I woke up at 4:30 pm was resource centre's issue/return timings. I had to get book(s) on Nanotechnology issued for Harsh along with returning the two books I had earlier issued. Had a tough time selecting texts on Nanotech as I had no idea regarding the same. Anyway google was at rescue and I searched for introductory texts on Nanotechnology. Whatever texts seemed suitable and were in the library, i got issued.

In the evening, I headed for lab(sole reason it being airconditioned). The hostel rooms in the 2nd floor are like baking kilns till late night. In the lab I started reading Lee Iococca's biography which was pending from a long time. The first chapter was about Iococca's family background and how he was raised in US. How his parents migrated from Italy, settled in America, made some fortune but were struck hard by The Great Depression and how they again revived. The entire account is awesome. The authoritative storytelling of Iococca makes it impressive and a prologue for the further story. Will read the further part later.

As I had skipped meal at night, so by the time of returning from lab I was pretty hungry. So I quickly headed for the food court and munched AlooParathas with Cold coffee. Almost at the same time Hemant SMSed to be online. He is currently working on two projects in Jodhpur MCN. First one is to develop a software meant for counterfeiting Handset piracy. Second one is to implement a database management system along with a working frontend. This surely wasn't enough to keep him busy and hence he joined a call centre training course for improving fluency in spoken english. Where he everyday learns a hell lot of new phrases and throws them as questions on me in the evening when I'm online. "Carrot and Stick policy","Water falling on a Slope","Ivory Tower","Ball of Fire","Lukman", and lots of others I've simply forgotten. (Courtesy!My Superb Memory.:).

After I got rid of Hemant's phrases, a new episode cropped up. I forged a bet on the money I had collected in form of coins in a box. FYI I have a box in which I put all my coins, whatever is in my pocket at the end of day.( NO! I'm not doing any Numismatical Reasearch!). My bet was that they'll definetly sum up to an amount greater than or equal to 500. While Nitin, Kapil, Ankur and Anand were adamant that they were less. I made Pathak the refree so that counting would be done honestly. I almost won the bet, but when the counting was about to finish Ankur mixed the counted and uncounted coins. Pathak got frustrated and stopped counting. It was all messed up, but I still hope I'll get my Dessert.

Then I started serfing; that regular stupid sequence of Rediff, Orkut, Hinduatan Times, Google, WorldCup and all. Then I accidentally got directed to Pabari's blog. He's damn good at writing. I started feeling an Inferiority Complex as I progressed through his blog. This guy knows a hell lot! My entire spirit went to doldrums...

Anyway I gotta live with it, and also have to find a way to award myself with some consolation for mediocrity!). BooHooo...

If this wasn't enough ego-bruising ( a term Pabari used to describe his IIM Lucknow GDPI experience), I read Riddhi Kaul's blog as well from friends list in Pabari's blog. This one made me run with butterflies in my stomach, yearning for even a fraction of her skillful writing. She writes good as hell!(pun unintended). It's not just her english, but the elegance and style with which she puts up everything together. She's well read with excellent vocab and a witty sense of humour. Added to all this is her penchant for exploring fearlessly which I suppose is a unique thing. Some of her blogs are too good, espacially the recent ones. Her blog on "Paradoxical Human nature", regarding some difficult choices made me exercise all I possess to make good sense of it, and when I sorted out what the dillemma was; it was nothing less than Eureka.
Undoubtly one of the most sensible and intelligent blogs I've ever seen.

All this was indeed an experience worth remembering, so I considered it worth jotting down. The yearning is still there in my mind, but then every such experience proves the diverse richness we as individuals possess.

Damn! Feeling miserable again!

Fatehpur Activist Group

2006-06-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

It's been about two months since we initiated this group to create a platform for those Fatehpurites who want to do something for their hometown.

Initially there were only a few of us, Vipul,Mr. Kamal Kumar Pandey, Homarjun who were actively involved. Now there is quite a rise in the number of members.
Homarjun Bhaiya took a further step adead and initiated the "Mass Book Donation Drive", in which we all have assumed active roles. If we pull through nicely, this initiative can be a anchor for the steps ahead and will create a good ground for the work ahead.

Initial need is to spread the word about this in an even manner which I'm trying to do my best motivating my other friends to do the same.

Texts I've been Reading

2006-06-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

Summers prove to be quite beneficial in terms of the literary texts I read, as with the scorching heat nothing else suits better.While I was at home I read Feluda Stories by Satyajit Ray.(The House of Death).Though I don't normally read detective or thriller stories but the name of Satyajit Ray whose potrait in my mind as a legendary film-maker was entirely different forced me to do so. And I did liked it a lot.The unexpected twists in the stories always left me amused.One thing I relly liked about the book was author's knowledge of so many things.He was sort of an encyclopedia and always came up with new things in each story.

Next book I read was Lee Iococca's autobiography which appealed to me a lot. His life was an Odyssey full of events and experience.(not the kind of mythical Odyssey that Homer wrote once, but a real one that one can connect with in a pragmatic manner).The book, or let's say the man Lee Iococca impressed me a lot. Not only in the way he revived Chrysler, but also in his general outlook towards life.

After returning bach to the college, the first text that I laid my hands on was, "From Science to God" by Peter Russell. I actually read it accidentally when Abhishek got it issed from the library. I just started reading first few pages to know what the book was about. But the central debate in the book regarding Religion and Sciece
caught my attention and I decided to read the whole text. The "consciousness" as a bridge between religion and science was a really though-provoking idea and with the help of this awareness regarding consciousness, author glues religion and science.
The book also described Transcedental Meditation and how the author learned it in Rishikesh from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.(Maharishi incidentally happens to be the founder of the school in which i studied till XII std.)

Along with some academic books,currently I'm reading "The Argumentative Indian" by Amartya Sen and it's quite thought provoking as well as relates one to the Indian identity and culture we are outcome of.I'm also reading a collection of essys by Italo Calvino titled "Why Should one read Classics".

I've planned to read some other texts as well. Some of the Ayn Rand's classics like "Atlas Shrugged".Will also try to read some more autobiographies.

Diary!!

2006-06-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a gap since I blogged last time. The reason isn't that I have stopped writing or been extremely busy. The fact is that instead of typing a lot,I still prefer to write with a pen in hardpaper.

I have started writing my everyday diary from 12th May 2006, and by now it's accumutating into a quite a lot of text. I would have liked to post that in my blog here but digitising all that amount of text written with pen seems to me a herculean task, which I have no intention of doing unless i have something very interesting to say.

College in summer is not exactly teeming with it's regular energy levels, but still I'm trying to enjoy the emptyness and ambience as much as I can.
The two forthcoming semesters are real kickass ones and with the kind of gradesheet I'm having now, I'll have to do a lot of work to prevent myself from being in an awkward situation.
I've realised that things are getting complicated, last 4 sems were kind of "no worries" sems but now there's a lot to think about. Placements, pointer and a lot more things capable of giving you nightmares.

I've got some plans, see if i can get them working as i wish to...

Screwed up!

2006-04-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

I know that i have badly screwd myself in many ways, whether it is about grades in college or about other "ventures".(sarcasm on myself).
But still i don't care about it.Sometimes it haunts me but mostly it's calm.

Then i think what it will take to make me "realize" that i am really messing up....

Pain

2006-02-28T14:53:00.000-08:00

13 nov 05

it's a pain
deep in there

but i can feel it now....
it slightly hurts
makes me feel uneasy and bounded...
there seems no way to escape it...

then it hurts more
i want to ignore it

but nothing helps..

Tit Bits

2006-02-03T17:41:00.001-08:00

In your darkest moments try to remember thinks you are grateful for,even the smallest ones
like green leaves,flowers,various unsaid shades of nature...,and you'll realise in a
moment how rich you are!

If we can have fun out of things, we are bound to learn them....DJ

It's still rare to find your soulmate say,"It's a leap year."

I believe that the grass is no more greener on the other side...savage garden

Only in men's imagination does every truth find an effective and undeniable existence. Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life. -- Joseph Conrad

Diary

2006-02-03T17:32:00.000-08:00

Am I Learning ?????

29/03/04

Today I got a chunk of life miraculously puffed up in me again.In a few words it boils
down to the fact that I have learned something,something that really matters.I'm
feeling strong enough,having a consistent feeling that I can create SPACE for myself.
Sooner or later the destiny is going to get it to me,but what really counts?
I'm a bit foggy of this.May be it is our perception of life,our tacklesome attitude
and our consistent faith on ourselves.We have to be systematic and rational on our
sides to get out energies back into us.
Just be cool and internally confident to tackle situations.I do possess enough
knowledge to fit into test margins and only need to remain calm.Finally its
all up to our efficiency,how much output against given input.
Things are bound to improve as far as we accept to learn.So I have to learn from
each instant of life.My rational approach will get me where I want to be.

Band of Brothers

2006-02-03T17:26:00.001-08:00

14.07.2005

Seven episodes into BoB(Band of Brothers) and it has a severe impression on me.

Though I'm the kind of those who by all of heart and soul hate the concept of military and war,this documentary still managed to force me watch all it's episodes with uttermost interest.Every minute detail,every daily irritant has been displayed from a soldier's point of view.

War is something heavily engaging,and when you are in it that means you are one hundred percent into it.If you are not then war is gonna sue you for sure.
Every soldier's mentality has got it's own dimensions,but what war does is to converge them all into "one".Survive and win.
Crisis is what gets them to their best.

Every episode has got a stand "unique and true".Nothing has been left out.

On Movies 1

2006-02-03T17:19:00.000-08:00

04.02.2006

Hope.
Should i write more?
A pigment in me that says that i'll achieve.
Trust that holds my integrity.
Time and pressure is all it's gonna take, and I've got both.

Shawshank's redeemed. Indeed.

Rural Internship Begins

2006-01-25T06:05:00.000-08:00

It needs to begin somewhere,it surely does.
Let's start with some musing.Mumbai,which is supposed to have a gate to India(which
doesn't makes much sense to me as one can land up in India from all possible
directions) was the first place we landed upon.Only because one freak (King George
V)and his even freaker queen(Queen Mary) came India on 2nd of December MCMXI through
that gate,you can't compell me to call it Gateway of India.
But as it goes,I've to live with it!
Don't be too happy,you too have to.
Next thing that's coming to me is the Marine Drive of Mumbai.It's cool wet breezes
with the sight of sun dipping into sea,I can feel them even now.
By golly,it's the biggest flirt place I've ever seen.Flirt in all it's gorgeous
dimensions.
People may call me cynical,but that's the way I take it.
From craving to deal with the strongest emotion on the earth,to the daily soap
discussions,everything was there.Ya that's Mumbai,I perhaps said to myself.
I made umpteen number of visionary assumptions,and sightless insights were
dominating my thought process.No no ! I'm not being philosophically outrageous in
expressing my emotions.In fact my spectacles met an unfortunate accident so I had to
largely rely upon speculation to measure the beauty of passing by cuties.
Jetski and parasailing were in full swing near the Marine Drive Beach,thereby making
us long for those quick-heightened moments.That sitting along the marine drive wall
was really a memorable experience with oozes of cool breezes hitting our faces.
Yes,Mumbai is indeed a wonderful place.It's a city full of contrasts.It has got all
shades in all their flavours.Everything has to be there in it's both extremes.
One more thing I noticed about Mumbai was the huge amount of intellect in there.You
can trace it everymoment and everywhere.It's not the general intellect,it's
something ahead of Mumbai Times.
But still,no matter how lovely marine drive may be,only the boys have got their
hands across the girl's shoulders.
Yaa......Things must take their time to change !